The Family

There was only one month left when we prepared the presentations for 2 very important events...

Hope Malacca 10th Anniversary and 4th Church Camp

The bulletins to the booklets; the multimedia slides to the props; the booking for accommodations to the transport arrangements... I can't figure out how God work in every one of us. Honestly, things didn't go well before the event. I was supposed to be in the sketch as one of the main actor, but I withdrew (many others did as well) because I can't memorize scripts. Ok lar, I AM BAD IN ACTING, that's the fact. I always thought that I'd embarrass myself on stage. I always feel cold once I got ready by the stage. Even just for a short while on the first scene. See? How to be an actor...?

We had a lot of things to do. And there are so many stumbling blocks on the way. The previous Hand Mimes practices were really good. But during the final rehearsal, the world was not round; some of us have forgotten some parts, the love isn't beautiful... I realized that there are some mistakes. I don't know how they happened. Sis Pai Chet was frustrated. I almost cried. The sketch wasn't great and some actors still don't know when or what to say. So many problems happened on the special day...

But I am thankful because the team from Hope Singapore (who pioneer Hope Malacca at the initial state) was smiling during the sketch and hand mimes. I could see bro Jameson laughing out loud during the multimedia presentation which earlier faced some technical problems. The files couldn't open... OMG! I was terrified. Luckily, David Junior has the back up but those were the half done presentations. So, for the rest of the presentation, they spent a few minutes to prepare the clips they were all fine during the practices. When the Africans sang "We Believe", it's not aligned with the music that was playing. I noticed that Sis Ireen wasn't happy.

I was moody during the 3 days camp. Sometimes I am happy; the other times I am a bit sad or frustrated. I realized that whatever I hoped for to take place during the camp, they did not happen. I was so upset and I skipped some of my meals because of that.

Anyway, all ended well. It was great. Despite all the bad things we went through, all of us stay united and submitted ourselves to those appointed by God to lead us.

Here are some pictures for you to look at... surprisingly, I didn't take any

the africans with Hope JB brothers

the benjamites .. as usual, always sticking together

Bing Yi and Wendy . me with Jameson
Jonathan, Lemo, Richard, Lazarus, Pai ChetDavid Jr, Joey, Mary

the africans sang We Believe so sweetly .. love the song

Victoria, Sin lu, me! with mashimaro of course

bro David Jr, Paul, Lazarus

the benjamites ALWAYS not paying attention(saw me? hehe..)

the Wee Kiat look

Jonathan pushing Lame .. me with mashimaro (Nath took this pic!)
aww .. the cuties .. hehe .. Zacharias with Julian

group picture .. nice isn't it?
Hope Malacca leaders: David, Aaron, Florencetogether with Hope Singapore leaders

Jonathan, Richard, Eddiey, Myles, Lemo, Lazarus, Frederick, EthanVictoria, Julian

play time! Shin Jie's shepherd (Mary) and ex-shepherd (Joey) pushing her!

the time to bow our heads

i skipped dinner .. his fault lar! sigh ..nah, just joking ..

yeay .. dance..

dancing at the song "Hari Ini Ku Rasa Bahagia"

the worship team! Shin Jie, Aaron plus David (not in the team lar)

praise & worship time

the ones who made it(note: i wasn't in there .. cos i went home to grab something .. sobs)

Shy Case

I like doing the survey kind of posts, you know. Maybe it's because it’s all about me, therefore its interesting Ok, the title is...

My Top 3 Embarrassing Moments in 2007
'Fess the humiliation!

ONE
As the last person in a debate team, he/she should say out what mistakes the other team has made. It's what we call as "shoot back". I was the last person. But I didn't know what I should do. I was so stupid till whatever content that I gave out, no points given. I hate debating, by the way. Ok, once again, it's not like there's only 2 teams in the classroom with the teacher. There were so many students in the class! I acted brainless in front of so many people... well, my team lost.


TWO
I entered the wrong class and realized it one minute later. 60 seconds is not short, you know! It's not like once you stepped into the room, you noticed that you don't know the people. I stood at the door looking at the guys. They looked back. My legs couldn't move. I don't know that I entered the wrong class. It's not the first week of class or something. It was the third week. I registered late ma. So I was clueless why they looked at me as if I am… ok, in the wrong class. Till now, I couldn't figure out how I manage to look at them, looking like a lost person, without feeling like one.


FINALLY
EVERYONE knows that I am so bad in speaking Mandarin. If you are working, you should at least know how to speak in these languages: English, Mandarin, and Malay. If you don't, you'l have difficulty in communicating or negotiating with your customers. Whenever I work in Lilic or in the phone shop, I always humiliate myself in speaking Mandarin. I know I pronounced the word correctly but when the customer said, "Ha?" then there are these 2 best guesses: I didn't speak loud enough or I said the wrong word. Whenever they did so, I'd scurry to my mate and asked for help. Then, I hide myself from that customer.

BLOG'RS TAGGED - David Harbor, Beatrice, Nikki, Prinsezz, Stephanie, Kidrock

Looking Forward

Betrayal

my heart

She keeps on betraying me.

When will she stop? She's my best friend. Does best friends betray each other? I have forgive and forget the things she did to me.. I still treat her as if nothing has happened. Last week, there was a discussion about a big matter that has to do with us. It's settled. Today, a friend talked to us about another problem. I know that she will tell the truth to our friend. I know that it'll be settled as how she had informed me. When I was being asked about it, I was thinking, "Why would he ask me this?". But I told the answer. My heart was beating fast as if I am the culprit (talking to this friend really gives me goosebumps)

I don't know why she does this to me. Is she afraid that he will get angry with her? That's why it's better to use my name? Or she is grade A in telling lies? From the day she spilled my secrets to others in order to let everyone to concentrate on me, I just know that she can't be trusted. I really love her but I just can't have the trust in her anymore.

What should I do? I can't just tell out my feelings to her. It's really hard. I can't be serious in front of people. I can't be angry with her.

ARGHHHH!!! Tell me what should I do to let her to 'wake up'!

p.s: someone hacked into my friendster account......... again!!

10 facts

10 Facts You Don't Know About Me

I hate pink. Why in the world there's pink? Who thought of pink? Why is it P.I.N.K?

I love to talk a lot. Bring out one topic; I'd jump in and chat till another topic flies in. I remembered talking with a group of friends and we all started with one topic. And then, one topic linked to another. In the end, I've no idea what we talked about.

But my words will be flying all over the place when I'm asked for opinions on the spot. My brain would break down in a jiffy. That's why you won't make out what I wanted to say. It happened during care group when I was supposed to share my testimony. There were 18 people. I just can't... say properly! I wrote it on a paper earlier but I left it at home.

I am a new fan of Michael Learns to Rock. This Denmark band was so popular when I was 10 years younger. After going to the concert, I started to love them again. There is one old song that I never heard of called "Romantic Balcony". Very nice!

I can be very girlish. Dresses, skirts, eye shadows, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, nail polish, lip gloss... I love them all. I am a girl, after all

I love to get stuffs which I don't need afterwards. When I see stuffs, I'd go "OMG! Green colour! So cute..." then, PAID! And, I get bored of it few days later.

I used to be scared of bus rides. If I think about sitting public bus, my brain starts to work real hard, "What if I took the wrong bus? What if I missed the bus? What if the seat is dirty? How long the bus will take to reach there?" The buses will never come on time. Sometimes I'd wait for an hour or more for the bus from Jusco back to my place. Sigh.

I love going to cafes where I could talk with my pals for a long, long time. My favourite spots: Fulltank, More, and PearlBean. Most of the time, I want to go there just to enjoy the air cond and view. Haha!

I won't like window shopping-ings anymore. Window shopping makes me feel sad. When I am a buyer, I can't buy anything. When I am the salesperson, I don't have any sales.

I always share songs. Each time I hear some good songs, I'd share with the people in the world. Some who rejected said, "They're not my cup of tea, sorry".

Love 'em...
"Shades of Love" by Empty Trash, "Dreaming Out Loud" by One Republic, "Time After Time" by Quietdrive, "It's Only Love" by MLTR, "Apologize" by Timbaland ft One Republic, "Beautiful Girl" by Sean Kingston, "Hit Me Up" by Gia Farrell, "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker, "Don't Tell Me You're Sorry" by S Club 8


Oh, by the way, do you know that this is a TAG post?

6 PEOPLE TAGGED - Jaecy, Henry Tan, David Harbor, Alex, Chazzie

Inquisitiveness
(Post and name any 1 picture you've taken which is hilarious because it's weird)

Indescribable God’s Love in Hope

I received Southern Region Church Camp pictures from Khai Lyn last week.

Sister Ireen got baptized!




happy shepherd! haha






yea, we are the Benjamites
(few of the people who didn't pay attention to the sermon for a few secs)






Hope of God Malacca!!
we rock!


we took the chance to get on stage.
(fyi, there were a few ppl who took our pics. hehe)

The smiles...
The 'HAHA!' looks caught in camera...
The "PEACE" signs...
The God’s words we heard...
The songs that we sang till 2am...
The unity in Hope Malacca...

I feel so touched.
I am so, so, so thankful that I am in Hope Everyone in Hope are so lovely, charming, helpful, kind, generous, patient, caring, funny, tolerance, supportive... You may have heard it from me dozens and dozens of times but you must know how is it to feel that I've always wanted to be accepted in a church. I used to pray by reading the prayer words from a book. As a result I could never pray properly. Now, it is just talking to God like how I talk to you. I failed to take care of my sheep. But I want to grow too so, I hope to have a compassionate heart towards her and the others.

I could never forget how joyful I am with the Benjamites:
`Su Han - having industrial training in Korea, very stylish
`Wee Kiat - speaks very well in Chinese... good at debating
`Julian - his laughter makes me laugh
`Abraham - his wisdom enthralled me
`Wendy - a responsible girl
`Ben - shy but he's funny sometimes
`Wei Lin - quiet and a very pretty girl! Loves pink a lot!
`Joanne Lee - beautiful eyes and nice hair
`Jennifer and Charleson - siblings that look alike. Both are sporting

Especially with my shepherd, Sis Shin Jie. I love her a lot. Nothing can describe the "Do you know I love you, Fiona?" care. She's really like my sister, Stella both of them always ask me, "Why didn't ask me first? Why you didn't complete your work?" and I had a hard time answering them. Honestly, both of them said the same thing (most of the time), "You know you always make me worry or not?"

Noooo, I don't want to boast about Hope. I wanted to share how God really loves me that He brought me into this church.

HE LOVES YOU TOO He has wonderful plans for you! Don't you feel excited? Whenever I thought about His plans for me, I couldn't sit still. My heart will jump with joy.

Before and After

I remember that when I was 9-10 years old, my dad left me behind. He, together with my sister and brothers wanted to go out. I want to follow so I went to the kitchen to grab my slippers. When I enter the living room, my mum was there watching TV. I thought they were waiting in the car. I quickly run to the door. I was holding the slippers when I saw the car was half way out from the small road.

I threw the slippers onto the floor and went inside to sit. Tears came out and I tried not to cry in front of my mum. I was old enough to think that she'd laugh at me if I cry. My mum asked me, "Eh, why you still here?" I didn't answer straight away because my voice is very watery. Later, I told her, "Papa go already". When they came back, I was still pouting. My mum told my dad that he has forgotten me. My dad laughed and said "Sorry, I don’t know you want to go. Sorry ar, I really don't know. Don't cry already lar" in Mandarin. My sister and brothers teased me a little. I was so humiliated and I cried again.

(I love my father very much that whenever he wants to go, I want to join him. But he's no longer part of the family. I don't feel like seeing him anymore because as I grow, I learnt that he did not fulfil his responsibility to his family. But, the love for him still remains in my heart...)

This happened... again

Imagine that one day you and your friends already plan to go somewhere for a holiday. They know you will join them. You waited for them to pick you up. As the time approaching, your heart grew so excited. What would it be like staying there? How the shopping malls are? What kind of people they’ll meet? Oh, the zeal... As the time passed the promised time, you'll feel less excited and more tensed up. Why aren't they here? We would miss the taxi. We would be late! Each minute, you assured yourself that they'd be here. You thought of a lot of excuses why they'd be late. But they didn't come. Half hour later, you called them up, "Why not yet pick me up? Later already lar" and they said, "Haven't pick you? I thought the who will go. Miscommunication lar I think. How now?" Deep inside, you just feel like crying because someone has forgotten you on an important day (don't think about birthdays). It may be stupid to cry over this thing but... someone fail to notice you leh T__T

Now...

I feel grateful that God wants me to go through this kind of things.
I never had embarrassing/shocking moments before until last year.
Therefore I appreciate every second of it...

Like the time when I entered wrong class. I didn't know. Everyone was staring at me.
Like the time when I said the thing that was so foolish that everyone teased me.
Like the times when I wore the wrongly matched clothes.
Like the times when I was so childish, talking bad stuffs about people!

Dead embarrassing! But... I am hoping that there'd be more so that I can laugh at myself and loosen up a bit. After re-dedicating my life to my Lord, I felt my life's more exciting. More bad and good things occurred. More things to muse about. More people to talk to. More practical events to attend. Everyone's life has its ups and downs. They teach us how to be mature living in the world of discrimination

Random Picture: SRCC, Kuala Rompin, Pahang


wh-what on earth was I doing? =__="

The Testimony

Imagine, talking in front of 40 people! That's like 3 times more audience compared to my last presentation. I was 'crying' for help from my shepherd yesterday. I need her help for my testimony which I've to present before preaching. I planned to go to KL to celebrate the special day (7/7/7) and attend the service in Hope Serdang or Hope PJ. I thought I can escape... but I can't

During prayer meeting, Shin Jie was hurt when I said, "Can I not share testimony? In front of so many people leh..." She looked at me and wrote something on a piece of paper. She passed it to me. She asked me to write whatever happened after I accepted Christ and what blessings He had given. But I was scared... That moment, I had completely forgotten that it's actually a blessing to have the opportunity to share my testimony! "You write out and give me read," she said. Sigh. That night, I went out with Carson, Jenny, Raynon, Melissa, and Wei Lun to have Asam Pedas at Jonker Street and then to Wings. After that, I joined them to Pure Bar at 12.15am! Too early isn't it? Once I got home, I watched the Microsoft Word getting started as I placed my fingers on the keyboard. I was ready. The memories of my past kept pouring in. Oh, those bad ones! I quickly type them out one by one.

After making covenant with the Lord, I was getting ready to give tithes. Ok, I wasn't. I was busy taking care of my anxiety and imagining how others would feel when I share. The next thing that I really need is when I heard Sis Mary said "We have a sister who has been through many things in her life..." YIKES! That was too early. It was supposed to be offering first! OFFERING! Shin Jie quickly laid her hand on me and prayed in tongue. My sheep, Wei Lin was sitting beside me. Ben was there calling my name. I don't know how loud they were and I felt like falling apart. When I walked out, they cheered for me. The embarrassment... and the never-ever-have-before love support. I went to the stage with all the 'grace' I have! Thank God (hallelujah!), at that moment He gave me courage. I was wearing Sis Wendy's skirt, by the way. Wicked Although I was nervous to look at the audience, I felt warm. And so, I started to share. I was grasping the mike as if I wasn’t holding one! It was making funny sounds. Strange.

I felt as if I am talking nonsense because everyone looked as if they don’t get what I was trying to say. I got emotional when I said:
"I used to scar my arm with a pocket knife,
I even thought of suicidal,
I had a polluted mind,
I’ve no goals or vision in my life,
I was lack of wisdom and I always waited for someone to teach me,
I was confused about whom I am and that my friends called me a faker,
I just wanted someone to love me."

My voice got odd and I took milliseconds to calm myself. Without knowing, I already shared the bible scriptures (Lamentations 3:22-24). I've no idea how long I took but no time to look at the clock lar I ended my sharing by proclaiming "God is good..." and they said "All the time." I said, "And all the time?" and they finally said, "God is good!"

Amen!!

Note:
The Pure Bar is a joke. No one would see my shadow in there. It may be the hottest bar in town with many different male and female faces but it's the lame-est place to hang out with friends. There's no way I'm putting my foot in there, again.