The Testimony

Imagine, talking in front of 40 people! That's like 3 times more audience compared to my last presentation. I was 'crying' for help from my shepherd yesterday. I need her help for my testimony which I've to present before preaching. I planned to go to KL to celebrate the special day (7/7/7) and attend the service in Hope Serdang or Hope PJ. I thought I can escape... but I can't

During prayer meeting, Shin Jie was hurt when I said, "Can I not share testimony? In front of so many people leh..." She looked at me and wrote something on a piece of paper. She passed it to me. She asked me to write whatever happened after I accepted Christ and what blessings He had given. But I was scared... That moment, I had completely forgotten that it's actually a blessing to have the opportunity to share my testimony! "You write out and give me read," she said. Sigh. That night, I went out with Carson, Jenny, Raynon, Melissa, and Wei Lun to have Asam Pedas at Jonker Street and then to Wings. After that, I joined them to Pure Bar at 12.15am! Too early isn't it? Once I got home, I watched the Microsoft Word getting started as I placed my fingers on the keyboard. I was ready. The memories of my past kept pouring in. Oh, those bad ones! I quickly type them out one by one.

After making covenant with the Lord, I was getting ready to give tithes. Ok, I wasn't. I was busy taking care of my anxiety and imagining how others would feel when I share. The next thing that I really need is when I heard Sis Mary said "We have a sister who has been through many things in her life..." YIKES! That was too early. It was supposed to be offering first! OFFERING! Shin Jie quickly laid her hand on me and prayed in tongue. My sheep, Wei Lin was sitting beside me. Ben was there calling my name. I don't know how loud they were and I felt like falling apart. When I walked out, they cheered for me. The embarrassment... and the never-ever-have-before love support. I went to the stage with all the 'grace' I have! Thank God (hallelujah!), at that moment He gave me courage. I was wearing Sis Wendy's skirt, by the way. Wicked Although I was nervous to look at the audience, I felt warm. And so, I started to share. I was grasping the mike as if I wasn’t holding one! It was making funny sounds. Strange.

I felt as if I am talking nonsense because everyone looked as if they don’t get what I was trying to say. I got emotional when I said:
"I used to scar my arm with a pocket knife,
I even thought of suicidal,
I had a polluted mind,
I’ve no goals or vision in my life,
I was lack of wisdom and I always waited for someone to teach me,
I was confused about whom I am and that my friends called me a faker,
I just wanted someone to love me."

My voice got odd and I took milliseconds to calm myself. Without knowing, I already shared the bible scriptures (Lamentations 3:22-24). I've no idea how long I took but no time to look at the clock lar I ended my sharing by proclaiming "God is good..." and they said "All the time." I said, "And all the time?" and they finally said, "God is good!"

Amen!!

Note:
The Pure Bar is a joke. No one would see my shadow in there. It may be the hottest bar in town with many different male and female faces but it's the lame-est place to hang out with friends. There's no way I'm putting my foot in there, again.