The second week is not as tough as before.
But I still feel the struggle deep within me regarding him. I can no longer be there with him, and be with him.. Yes, I can say now that it is all his fault for making me like this but no matter what, I still adore him very much. I still like him a lot. I just couldn't understand his situation where he has to dump me just because he has problems. He has problems and yet, he told me and then we couldn't be together.
It's f*ing nonsense.
Yea, maybe if we are still together, I expect him to do more than he should. So he chose for us to be NOT together? I don't get it. He should all the more encourage me to be stronger when I am with him. I know his stories. But so far, how truthful he is to me, I can never know. Probably he is that sorta person who couldn't manage things properly at one time. But so what? This relationship IS a commitment, not an option. After all, we're in it together. Others knew our status. Sigh..
He couldn't understand this. He never will understand. When he explained to me the other day, I heard him telling me that I said something about commitment? I always see commitment as quite important. Once you committed to someone, she/he gonna be there in your life - part of your life. There's no such things as 10% or 20% of love he can give to the partner. That's stupid. When you love someone, you love them as how you love your family. As how you love your friends. There are no such things like portion of my heart is for you etc etc.
Haih... For me not to cry over this, is not something I can choose. I just cry. It comes naturally - no matter how strong I am now or in the future. When someone just breaks you, you cry. The more you keep, the hatred and bitterness will slowly grow in your heart. Why would you let these 2 evil things to conquer your life? I rather let my tears to flow out. Yes, I have a soft heart.
But it is better than the heart kept for revenge.
He shouldn't be stopping me from crying. He should be there when I cry.
GCYL,
If you're reading this post, I'm not keeping any hatred for you.. And of everything that happened. It is really really meaningful when someone would be there for you despite what problems you are having. And I am not in the wrong when I said I love you even more after you explained to tell me.. You did not make me understand why I couldn't be there for you when all these happened. You failed in making me to realize that I shouldn't be there. You couldn't understand what love truly is. You don't know.. You couldn't just say that you're not ready to have a gf when you're f*ing already in a relationship.
I don't know what are your intentions when you told me so, when you told me that you would choose to marry a rich man's daughter in order to settle your problems. Maybe you want to give me excuses so that I would stop looking for you - which you failed to comprehend that I won't. I don't know how you understand how hurt I am. I don't believe you even know it - because if you knew, you'd be there when I cry. Not just f*ing tell me not to cry.
People may see that you're not worth to be with. You may tell me that one day when I wake up, I will realize that all this is not worth it. Well, what can you say when I am already f*ing IN LOVE with you? I don't know WHAT you understand by the two words - IN LOVE! I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU when you f*ing fall out of love. Not out of love for me.. But just out of love.
I wish you could update me everything that happened in your life.
I wish you could just send me one or two texts each day to tell me you're okay.
I wish you could just have the heart to know how am I..
So you see the above pics are for him.. I did them for him.
And that bag, he needs one for his work. You know, I guess that when I do stuffs for people, it is not for the sake of pleasing them. But for THEIR SAKE! The little deeds I did, I do, and I will do are only as blessings... Nothing else.
I hope he understands my intentions.
I f*ing hope he does.
But I still feel the struggle deep within me regarding him. I can no longer be there with him, and be with him.. Yes, I can say now that it is all his fault for making me like this but no matter what, I still adore him very much. I still like him a lot. I just couldn't understand his situation where he has to dump me just because he has problems. He has problems and yet, he told me and then we couldn't be together.
It's f*ing nonsense.
Yea, maybe if we are still together, I expect him to do more than he should. So he chose for us to be NOT together? I don't get it. He should all the more encourage me to be stronger when I am with him. I know his stories. But so far, how truthful he is to me, I can never know. Probably he is that sorta person who couldn't manage things properly at one time. But so what? This relationship IS a commitment, not an option. After all, we're in it together. Others knew our status. Sigh..
He couldn't understand this. He never will understand. When he explained to me the other day, I heard him telling me that I said something about commitment? I always see commitment as quite important. Once you committed to someone, she/he gonna be there in your life - part of your life. There's no such things as 10% or 20% of love he can give to the partner. That's stupid. When you love someone, you love them as how you love your family. As how you love your friends. There are no such things like portion of my heart is for you etc etc.
Haih... For me not to cry over this, is not something I can choose. I just cry. It comes naturally - no matter how strong I am now or in the future. When someone just breaks you, you cry. The more you keep, the hatred and bitterness will slowly grow in your heart. Why would you let these 2 evil things to conquer your life? I rather let my tears to flow out. Yes, I have a soft heart.
But it is better than the heart kept for revenge.
He shouldn't be stopping me from crying. He should be there when I cry.
GCYL,
If you're reading this post, I'm not keeping any hatred for you.. And of everything that happened. It is really really meaningful when someone would be there for you despite what problems you are having. And I am not in the wrong when I said I love you even more after you explained to tell me.. You did not make me understand why I couldn't be there for you when all these happened. You failed in making me to realize that I shouldn't be there. You couldn't understand what love truly is. You don't know.. You couldn't just say that you're not ready to have a gf when you're f*ing already in a relationship.
I don't know what are your intentions when you told me so, when you told me that you would choose to marry a rich man's daughter in order to settle your problems. Maybe you want to give me excuses so that I would stop looking for you - which you failed to comprehend that I won't. I don't know how you understand how hurt I am. I don't believe you even know it - because if you knew, you'd be there when I cry. Not just f*ing tell me not to cry.
People may see that you're not worth to be with. You may tell me that one day when I wake up, I will realize that all this is not worth it. Well, what can you say when I am already f*ing IN LOVE with you? I don't know WHAT you understand by the two words - IN LOVE! I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU when you f*ing fall out of love. Not out of love for me.. But just out of love.
I wish you could update me everything that happened in your life.
I wish you could just send me one or two texts each day to tell me you're okay.
I wish you could just have the heart to know how am I..
So you see the above pics are for him.. I did them for him.
And that bag, he needs one for his work. You know, I guess that when I do stuffs for people, it is not for the sake of pleasing them. But for THEIR SAKE! The little deeds I did, I do, and I will do are only as blessings... Nothing else.
I hope he understands my intentions.
I f*ing hope he does.
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